Today is the sixth death anniversary of my beloved Dad. Six years since I saw him, heard him, felt his assuring presence around me everytime. These six years of my life have taught me a lot. Even though I was away from my mom and sis each day of these six years, every moment we were connected with each other in our griefs, tied with the loss each one of us had to endure, bonded by the silent tears each one of us shedded. Those hardships, the struggles, the pain, the anguish – can neither be explained to, nor can be understood by, somebody who has not been through the experience of losing a beloved one. However, this piece is not about us, this piece is intended to be a memoir of my dad.
When I think of my dad, there are many qualities that come to my mind. A person of wisdom and shrewdness, an enterprising person with a lot of zeal and enthusiasm, a committed and honest individual, hard working and sincere with his feet firmly on the ground. To this day ppl recognize me as his daughter, such was the goodwill that he had earned in his lifetime. A very stoic person by nature, my dad had the power to endure each and every challenge that life threw upto him. I had seen my dad shedding tears only once – it was when he took leave of me on my second day of college. Somehow, I can still visualize my dad waving as he walked out of my hostel while I stood at the gate, his cheeks red and wet with the tears.
We have moved on since his demise. We took our time, refused to believe at first that this really happened to us, fought with ourselves to understand why this happened to us, but finally conceded and accepted that life had tricked us. Not that we had an option. You see, that time survival was a necessity, not a choice. And slowly, the wheel started rolling again. However, I am sure that from some corner of the sky, my dad keeps looking at all of us and I know he is very proud of the way we have carried on with our lives. I love you, Dad, we all do…And we miss you a lot, will always miss you.
Wednesday 6 May 2009
Wednesday 7 January 2009
Tu hi meri dost hain!!
"haan Bolo..."
"hey BhagWaan!!"
"kya kar rahi ho?"
"hah!!"
"arreY! Chup na!!"
"dhut!!"
"you know what.."
"hmmm.." (= haan:)
"hey"
"accha! suno na..."
"Plzzz.."
"accha ab main rakhti hu.. theek hai?"
Words... that I have heard so many times a day that I have hopelessly gotten used to them.
Words...that tell a story but are a story unto themselves.
Words...that even when they are so predictable are fondly awaited.
Words...that seem very ordinary but speak of something very special.
As I log on to my laptop for the first time in the year 2009, I see this seemingly innocuous mail waiting to be picked up in my mailbox. I open this mail and I see the above words – words that lit up not only my new year but also my entire life to come.
This mail comes from a friend of mine, a very special friend who has been with me through the thick and thin of my life for the past few months, a person whom I could confide anything and everything and trust to come out with solutions even for invincible problems. But most importantly, she taught me some of the most beautiful things about life:
1. She taught me to hug. Don’t think I am kidding; I have hardly hugged my dearest mom!! She blackmailed me into hugging her quite a number of times, and by now, I am proud to admit that I have mastered this gesture too.
2. She showed me a Touch-me-not plant. (Readers might start thinking that I am hopeless at this point, but believe me, although I knew the name of this plant since I was a kid, I had never seen it in real life). That day as I stood with her in the garden, playing with that shy plant, I was secretly thanking God that he had chosen such an opportune moment to show me one of his most wonderful creations with somebody so close to my life and heart.
3. She ‘taught’ me how to hold my fort under all circumstances. Forgive me for using the word ‘taught’ because though I admire (and at the same time envy) her for this trait, I refuse to imbibe this myself. I think I need to be much bigger hearted and wiser to be like her. One person in this entire world on whom I can take the liberty of screaming and scolding, hanging up the call abruptly and still not hesitating to call at all odd hours just to cry my heart out - that’s her!!! She would always be there, on the other line of the phone, with her mellifluous voice resonating in my ears – ‘Kya hua, ….’
4. And yes, this is the biggest takeaway for me. She brought a whole new meaning of the word ‘relationship’ in my life. I have always prided myself on maintaining good relations with those I value a lot. But after she entered my life, suddenly the word had assumed a meaning of monumental proportions. If earlier I respected my relations, today I value and relish them.
I dedicate this blog to you, my friend. I pray for you from the bottom of my heart and somewhere in my prayers I beg God to bless me with your companionship for many more years to come. While I move on with my life and my troubles, I always have this comfort in my heart that somewhere my friend is always with me, sharing my happiness and joy, bearing my tears and pain. A Jewish saying goes like this - Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure. I am one of those fortunate ones who have dug out this treasure for themselves…
"hey BhagWaan!!"
"kya kar rahi ho?"
"hah!!"
"arreY! Chup na!!"
"dhut!!"
"you know what.."
"hmmm.." (= haan:)
"hey"
"accha! suno na..."
"Plzzz.."
"accha ab main rakhti hu.. theek hai?"
Words... that I have heard so many times a day that I have hopelessly gotten used to them.
Words...that tell a story but are a story unto themselves.
Words...that even when they are so predictable are fondly awaited.
Words...that seem very ordinary but speak of something very special.
As I log on to my laptop for the first time in the year 2009, I see this seemingly innocuous mail waiting to be picked up in my mailbox. I open this mail and I see the above words – words that lit up not only my new year but also my entire life to come.
This mail comes from a friend of mine, a very special friend who has been with me through the thick and thin of my life for the past few months, a person whom I could confide anything and everything and trust to come out with solutions even for invincible problems. But most importantly, she taught me some of the most beautiful things about life:
1. She taught me to hug. Don’t think I am kidding; I have hardly hugged my dearest mom!! She blackmailed me into hugging her quite a number of times, and by now, I am proud to admit that I have mastered this gesture too.
2. She showed me a Touch-me-not plant. (Readers might start thinking that I am hopeless at this point, but believe me, although I knew the name of this plant since I was a kid, I had never seen it in real life). That day as I stood with her in the garden, playing with that shy plant, I was secretly thanking God that he had chosen such an opportune moment to show me one of his most wonderful creations with somebody so close to my life and heart.
3. She ‘taught’ me how to hold my fort under all circumstances. Forgive me for using the word ‘taught’ because though I admire (and at the same time envy) her for this trait, I refuse to imbibe this myself. I think I need to be much bigger hearted and wiser to be like her. One person in this entire world on whom I can take the liberty of screaming and scolding, hanging up the call abruptly and still not hesitating to call at all odd hours just to cry my heart out - that’s her!!! She would always be there, on the other line of the phone, with her mellifluous voice resonating in my ears – ‘Kya hua, ….’
4. And yes, this is the biggest takeaway for me. She brought a whole new meaning of the word ‘relationship’ in my life. I have always prided myself on maintaining good relations with those I value a lot. But after she entered my life, suddenly the word had assumed a meaning of monumental proportions. If earlier I respected my relations, today I value and relish them.
I dedicate this blog to you, my friend. I pray for you from the bottom of my heart and somewhere in my prayers I beg God to bless me with your companionship for many more years to come. While I move on with my life and my troubles, I always have this comfort in my heart that somewhere my friend is always with me, sharing my happiness and joy, bearing my tears and pain. A Jewish saying goes like this - Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure. I am one of those fortunate ones who have dug out this treasure for themselves…
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